A Woman’s Guide to Getting Your Loved One Into Some Rougher Games.
As the divorce rates are growing, many women question themselves about the reasons behind why their man has gone astray. As much as the stereotypical younger mistress, which accompanies the mid-life crisis of the average or not so average man, seem like the answer, sometimes it all goes deeper, starting with what you two are lacking in bedroom.
It is rumored that a large percentage of men have some BDSM (a variety of often erotic practices or role playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics-wikipedia) fantasies of one kind or another.
Maybe that’s what your man is secretly (or even subconsciously) willing to experience too? You don’t mind as well? So, how to make a gentle proposition without seeming weird?
Talking and Listening
Try to start a conversation about BDSM. With the book “50 shades of gray” risen to its fame, there is nothing unusual in that even the prudent teacher is interested in becoming the pupil. Remember, whatever it is: dominating, being submissive, wearing leathers and sporting a whip, or being restrained to your bed, do not be afraid to talk about it, fetishes are as common and normal as it gets. Tell your other half you want to try it, tell him you dream about it, lure out the information from him.
Listen to his fantasies, he may want you to spank him as the bad schoolboy he is, whilst he is gagged so he doesn’t bother the neighbors or he may want to switch roles if you are the domineering wife at life, he may want you to become the submissive one for a change. Talking and listening is the key to a good sex life. And a playful whip to your bottom can ease the tension of your everyday life.
Keep on Stirring
Drop your pajamas and worn out t-shirts. If you’re looking how to save your marriage then this ain’t cutting’ it! Yes, some men don’t care about their women’s looks, or have no fetishes and are devoted churchgoers, but that is a rarity.
You fell in love with the man who fell in love with the woman who intrigued him, that looked nicely, that took care of herself, and that he could speak to. Must have noticed that things have changed lately.
Instead of our usual pantyhose go for something more feminine, stockings held up with the help of a sexy leather garter belt. Go even one step further, a fetish store should hold a sexy pair of crotchless panties which would make it easier to become his little bitch anywhere during the day(check your local laws about having sex in public places if you consider that as an option) Send naughty texts during the daytime, and be a sexy woman at home.
Buy some nice fetish clothing and fetish accessories. Start simple. Leather restraints, some bondage, and a collar should do nicely. Dim the lights, wait for your significant other to come to the bedroom and voila! As most men fantasize about being on the top, the dominating ones, it would be a smart idea to wear the collar yourself. And it would be a safer bet to say “I have been a bad girl, will you punish me”. You must decide on what note to start if you are unsure on his preferences, you can try “who’s been the bad one today” while holding out the collar, and seductively looking in his eyes. A bottle of wine by the bed may help you feel more open-minded, and although I do not advocate the use of alcohol, I must admit there have been occasions when it has helped to ease the uneasiness.
A Little Goes a Long Way
Either one or both of you closeted fetishistic, leather wearing, bondage enthusiast wannabe’s may be a beginners in BDSM, try not to get too enthusiastic at first. You may want to use a necktie to restrain your partner, which is not recommended, it may be hard to undo given the occasion you may need to stop the roleplay promptly. Try going with specialized accessories. As you ease into the game you wouldn’t want cold metal handcuffs to touch your body, leather restraints would be more comforting and allow you focusing on your fetish and fantasies, rather than being uncomfortable, so remember- leather for more comfort, it’s a natural material, and you want to feel as natural as you can during the introduction of BDSM into your bedroom, playroom or whatever the room you will choose to live your fantasies..
Do not go into harsh sadomasochism in the first try.
He Might be Afraid
About the safety your man should feel towards you, if he’s ever thought about being at your feet, calling you his mistress, his queen, he’s played it out in his head but never had the courage to say it, and through the years, the fear had just grown bigger, because what will you think of him. He might find it easier to find someone new, who he doesn’t care about as much, and open up and starts an affair. Be the woman your man wants, if you want your man. Leathers, spanking in the bedroom, exploration of your fetishes, dirty talk and BDSM could be the answers to your marital problems.
You Might be Afraid
“What if he’s not into that”, pops on your mind. Most men are into it, more or less, and trying one time will not hurt you. Remember, your marriage is at stake. And you can draw parallels in your BDSM games, hidden behind leathers and fetishes: you can play out and get off your mind the anger you hold against him for not doing the dishes, and he’d have less and less things to be annoyed with about you as he doesn’t have to hold back expressing his needs and having his fetishes fulfills. It’s like therapy, combined with sexual pleasure, and as every game it needs to be learned how to play.
Go on, stop loitering on the idea, you know you have tried almost everything except BDSM.